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Post by frankiegth on Sept 10, 2006 15:30:25 GMT
Would it be a good idea to have a "bucket collection" at every game on Sat'day with the cash going to Matts family.
Then long term perhaps Mr Moules and co on the conference committee could organise some kind of "all stars" game with the proseeds also going to Matts family.
Don't mean to appear insensitve talking of money at a time like this, but I believe in incidents like this you have to strike while it's all very fresh in everyones memory
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Post by bh on Sept 10, 2006 15:48:19 GMT
Here, Here! Agreed on all three counts!
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Post by Giggy of Telford on Sept 10, 2006 21:38:05 GMT
I think on Telford's visit to Radcliffe this Tuesday there are plans for a collection.
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Post by ambersalamander on Sept 11, 2006 16:35:54 GMT
Call me insensitive, but I can never quite work out what the money is supposed to be spent on in these collections Someone enlighten me.
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Post by Giggy of Telford on Sept 11, 2006 17:06:36 GMT
I'm not 100% sure but if he was working then the family would be hit very hard financially on top of everything else, the donations may help remove some of the financial pressure so that they can mourn in peace.
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martello
Steaming Bovril
I used to be indecisive...now I'm not so sure...
Posts: 371
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Post by martello on Sept 11, 2006 19:35:51 GMT
Call me insensitive, but I can never quite work out what the money is supposed to be spent on in these collections Someone enlighten me. I think in these circumstances a collection is wholly appropriate, considering he leaves behind a young family. Apart from anything else, its the thoughts that go into donating that I think the relatives appreciate.
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Post by amberaleman on Sept 11, 2006 22:21:45 GMT
The response to a sad event like this has to be proportionate. A collection at Hinckley, and maybe other local/Conf North clubs, would be appropriate. But I don't think it should go further.
I remember the Penlee lifeboat appeal in the 1970s. The lifeboat went down just before Christmas with all hands lost. There was a nationwide appeal, the story captured the public mood, and the response was overwhelming. The bereaved families ended up with far more cash than they knew what to do with, and the whole thing became an embarrassment. I'm not suggesting that this would be on the same scale, but it's important to retain a sense of perspective.
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Post by ambersalamander on Sept 11, 2006 22:29:21 GMT
Absolutely. When someone leaves a young family behind it's only right to help them. But you're right- keep that within appropriate boundaries.
I hope they do have a collection, because what happened would have been the last thing they expected and they will need that help not to worry so much about mundane things. I can't even begin to imagine what they're feeling right now.
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Post by DJhinckley on Sept 12, 2006 19:52:08 GMT
All donations are voluntary. It's up to individuals whether they wish to give or not, if they don't then that is fair enough, it is a personal choice. Hinckley United as a club, or their fans, or even the Gadsby family are not asking for donations, however a number of individuals and clubs have expressed their desire to make donations. As such a Memorial Fund has been set up for clubs or individuals to donate should they wish, the monies of which are going directly to the Gadsby family.
of course everyone has to make their own choice and will measure the 'proportion' of the event based on their own standards, and no one can argue with that as each individual has their own ideas of proportion which no one can claim is right or wrong.
personally I have already donated because I measure the proportion against the experience in my own life. First because I still feel guilty having witnessed the event and still being alive I am able to go home to my own girls. Second because Matthew was 27, and could've worked for a further 33 years. His widow Sarah may possibly pick up her life and start again, but right now I don't care what she may do in the future, it's what she can do right now. If she feels she has too much money, I'm sure she would donate it to a charity, possibly one researching whatever tragically killed Matthew on Saturday. For now, she will need to pay bills and feed and clothe her daughter. That's how I measure proportion.
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Post by frankiegth on Sept 13, 2006 9:22:55 GMT
We had a collection at Hucknall last night and people were most generous with their donations. Matt was a young man with a young family as such, no one is aware of what "provision" may/maynot be in place for his dependents 'cos when you are young you're going to live forever and some seemingly mundane things get "put off". (I haven't made a will yet and I'm 45).
A friend of mine died in exactly the same fashion and he was only 30. Everyone was mortified, but his wife and young family were very greatful for the financial and moral support that the collection showed in a very tangible way.
God forbid it happening again but if it did I'd do the same again.
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Post by ambersalamander on Sept 14, 2006 11:26:20 GMT
Absolutely right. But DJ- try not to feel guilty! It was nothing to do with you, was it? I know- you can go home to your happy family so you feel bad for his family. But millions of families have lost a beloved member and millions haven't. It's proportion again isn't it? I feel really sad for what his family must be going through, but I wouldn't want anyone to feel guilty because they have something that family doesn't. I mean, it's not as if you've done anything wrong. But there is never any should and shouldn't about how you feel in any situation, so in the meantime I'm sorry that you feel that way.
Having said that, I don't know what i'd have felt if I'd witnessed such a tragedy, and I suppose such a traumatic experience would make you feel weird things. You have my sympathies; it must have been absolutely dreadful to see something like that.
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johne
In the tea-bar queue
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Post by johne on Sept 14, 2006 11:59:22 GMT
Well said DJ.
In my experiece people find it easier to create excuses NOT to give and rather harder TO give.
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Post by DJhinckley on Sept 14, 2006 18:07:35 GMT
Having said that, I don't know what i'd have felt if I'd witnessed such a tragedy, and I suppose such a traumatic experience would make you feel weird things. You have my sympathies; it must have been absolutely dreadful to see something like that. my guilt pales into insignificance compared to the hoplessness matt's family must be feeling. At first it was absolute jaw dropping shock, especially as I was with my 8 year old girl, then it was frustration because you are watching this happen and have no control or ability to change things for the better. It was apparent that as soon as the physio and players began to administer CPR that it was fataly serious. There was an audible 'sigh' of despair around the ground at that moment. Then it is guilt as I'd imagine myself in the same situation and think thank god it isn't happing to my family. It's horrible because you feel real heartfelt sympathy for Matt's family but at the same time relief that you can still go home to your own family.
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Post by ambersalamander on Sept 16, 2006 17:45:33 GMT
well said that man.
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