Villain: CAT

ambersalamander
Administrator

AmberAdmin

Sutton United FC

Posts: 5,317

Villain: CAT Jul 28, 2006 10:09:13 GMT

Quote

Post by ambersalamander on Jul 28, 2006 10:09:13 GMT

I am babysitting my parents' cat, Lucy, while they are away in France.

This creature is sixteen years of age, and I have known her only too well since I was eight.

The first thing she did when she got to my place was to jump onto my coffee table, knocking down and breaking my glass coasters.

Then she started jumping on every available surface like a bull in a china shop and knocking over loose items left, right and centre.

All night she refused to let me sleep as she was busy noisily vandalising my property. I woke up to find she'd ripped one of my favourite posters off the wall AND done a poo on my kitchen floor.

She has covered every surface with hairs already and has only been here since yesterday evening. She doesn't like me using the PC; whenever I try she jumps onto the keyboard or mouse and just sits there watching me.

I have seized this chance now while she is busy destroying something else to put out this plea for help. HELP me! Please. As soon as she sees what I am doing I will beaaaaaaarrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrthdjnhtejkunh5iu4j98t8yu

"Your number nine! 'E's finished!"

J Esaj PRA Guest	Villain: CAT Jul 28, 2006 11:34:45 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by J Esaj PRA on Jul 28, 2006 11:34:45 GMT Get a handgun and use it. It's the only sure treatment that works on cats.

roofless
Stale bacon bap

Posts: 209

Villain: CAT Jul 28, 2006 18:23:42 GMT

Quote

Post by roofless on Jul 28, 2006 18:23:42 GMT

I looked after my auntys cat couple of weeks ago and the f**k**g spiteful thing pissed on the floor while I was watching. It did it under the pretence of being an idiot, it sat with its legs in the litter tray and hung its arse out the side and just let it go on the floor... git.

Ruth: The One And Only

coops
Jumbo Sausage

Posts: 1,019

Villain: CAT Jul 28, 2006 20:44:48 GMT

Quote

Post by coops on Jul 28, 2006 20:44:48 GMT

Excellent! Cats are fantastic and of course they know when you don't like them and they know EXACTLY how to really, really piss you off!

Our new cat (rescued as all our others have been) likes to ambush people from the top of the clothes horse, he will lie there for hours pretending to be fast asleep but those claws come out in nano-seconds as soon as anyone he doesn't like walks past. I feed him so I am exempt.

coops1989.blogspot.com/

With the possible exception of being Garth Crooks,
There is nothing worse than washing sieves.

I asked if you would like to go along to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show, you said you'd love to so I murdered your family, because I hate the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

ambersalamander Administrator AmberAdmin Sutton United FC Posts: 5,317	Villain: CAT Jul 28, 2006 22:02:40 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ambersalamander on Jul 28, 2006 22:02:40 GMT But I do like cat, and I thought she liked me too until last night!
	"Your number nine! 'E's finished!"

bonehead
Stale bacon bap

Posts: 228

Villain: CAT Jul 30, 2006 10:25:50 GMT

Quote

Post by bonehead on Jul 30, 2006 10:25:50 GMT

ambersalamander said:

But I do like cat, and I thought she liked me too until last night!

Cats are like that. They are the devil in disguise. Just when you think you understand them, they do something totally out of character that harms you. A bit like men ;D

amberaleman Jumbo Sausage The only Sutton fan in Colliers Wood Posts: 1,206	Villain: CAT Aug 7, 2006 18:12:43 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by amberaleman on Aug 7, 2006 18:12:43 GMT Sal, maybe Lucy jumped onto your mousemat because she was after the mouse! ;D Or is that just too obvious? I've heard that some machines are equipped with a whale instead of a mouse. Now, no cat is going to jump on a whale. Or is it?

ambersalamander Administrator AmberAdmin Sutton United FC Posts: 5,317	Villain: CAT Aug 7, 2006 19:55:20 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ambersalamander on Aug 7, 2006 19:55:20 GMT Maybe she fell in love at first sight with my Sutton United mousemat, or with one of the people I was talking to on MSN Messenger ;D
	"Your number nine! 'E's finished!"

samd Steaming Bovril Posts: 327	Villain: CAT Aug 20, 2006 22:07:51 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by samd on Aug 20, 2006 22:07:51 GMT Get a dog, I've got a lovely dog after my previous lovely dog had to be put to sleep

ambersalamander Administrator AmberAdmin Sutton United FC Posts: 5,317	Villain: CAT Aug 20, 2006 23:47:45 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ambersalamander on Aug 20, 2006 23:47:45 GMT I HATE dogs!
	"Your number nine! 'E's finished!"

samd Steaming Bovril Posts: 327	Villain: CAT Aug 21, 2006 16:06:01 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by samd on Aug 21, 2006 16:06:01 GMT ambersalamander said: I HATE dogs! And they hate you.

ambersalamander Administrator AmberAdmin Sutton United FC Posts: 5,317	Villain: CAT Aug 21, 2006 18:53:26 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ambersalamander on Aug 21, 2006 18:53:26 GMT I know they do! That's why I avoid them!
	"Your number nine! 'E's finished!"

medibot Jumbo Sausage Posts: 1,776	Villain: CAT Aug 24, 2006 0:09:42 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by medibot on Aug 24, 2006 0:09:42 GMT Hahaha, just got a brilliant mental image of a bunch of dogs plotting to annoy Sal. It looks sort of like the dogs playing poker picture but with plans and stuff
	Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi - The land of my fathers, the land of my choice.

ambersalamander Administrator AmberAdmin Sutton United FC Posts: 5,317	Villain: CAT Aug 28, 2006 21:23:35 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ambersalamander on Aug 28, 2006 21:23:35 GMT The cat has now decided that she is madly in love with my boyfriend and likes him more than any member of the family! jealous rage
	"Your number nine! 'E's finished!"

Col ISIHAC. Administrator Absolutely no idea. Posts: 1,593	Villain: CAT Aug 28, 2006 22:24:08 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Col ISIHAC. on Aug 28, 2006 22:24:08 GMT How can you admit to being jealous of a little pussy?
	Exiled in Northampton. Which is actually somewhere you'd probably choose if given the choice! Marvellous! www.myspace.com/protosmusic

Post by ambersalamander on Jul 28, 2006 10:09:13 GMT

Post by J Esaj PRA on Jul 28, 2006 11:34:45 GMT

Post by roofless on Jul 28, 2006 18:23:42 GMT

Post by coops on Jul 28, 2006 20:44:48 GMT

Post by ambersalamander on Jul 28, 2006 22:02:40 GMT

Post by bonehead on Jul 30, 2006 10:25:50 GMT

Post by amberaleman on Aug 7, 2006 18:12:43 GMT

Post by ambersalamander on Aug 7, 2006 19:55:20 GMT

Post by samd on Aug 20, 2006 22:07:51 GMT

Post by ambersalamander on Aug 20, 2006 23:47:45 GMT

Post by samd on Aug 21, 2006 16:06:01 GMT

Post by ambersalamander on Aug 21, 2006 18:53:26 GMT

Post by medibot on Aug 24, 2006 0:09:42 GMT

Post by ambersalamander on Aug 28, 2006 21:23:35 GMT

Post by Col ISIHAC. on Aug 28, 2006 22:24:08 GMT

Quick Reply