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Post by ambersalamander on Jan 19, 2007 21:45:14 GMT
Marvellous! I shan't argue about the definition of Tourette's Syndrome
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Post by amberaleman on Jan 19, 2007 22:49:46 GMT
This was voted most popular religious joke on a Christian website. But don't let that put you off reading on...
I was walking across a bridge when, to my horror, I saw a man about to throw himself over the edge.
"Don't jump!" I shouted, rushing up to him.
"Why shouldn't I?" he replied. "Life is sh*t! I want to end it all."
"Look, are you religious?" I asked.
"Well, yes I am actually," he replied.
"So am I!" I replied. "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
"I'm a Christian, " he replied.
"So am I! Protestant or Catholic?"
"Protestant."
"Me too! Conformist or non-conformist?"
"Non-conformist."
"And so am I! Methodist or Baptist?"
"Baptist, actually".
"Me too. Original Baptist or Reformist Baptist?"
"Reformist Baptist".
"And me! 1885 Reformist Baptist or 1907 Reformist Baptist?"
"1885 Reformist Baptist."
So I shouted "heretic bastard!" and pushed him off.
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Post by ambersalamander on Jan 19, 2007 22:51:02 GMT
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Post by malxscfc on Jan 19, 2007 23:25:16 GMT
This was voted most popular religious joke on a Christian website. But don't let that put you off reading on... I was walking across a bridge when, to my horror, I saw a man about to throw himself over the edge. "Don't jump!" I shouted, rushing up to him. "Why shouldn't I?" he replied. "Life is sh*t! I want to end it all." "Look, are you religious?" I asked. "Well, yes I am actually," he replied. "So am I!" I replied. "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" "I'm a Christian, " he replied. "So am I! Protestant or Catholic?" "Protestant." "Me too! Conformist or non-conformist?" "Non-conformist." "And so am I! Methodist or Baptist?" "Baptist, actually". "Me too. Original Baptist or Reformist Baptist?" "Reformist Baptist". "And me! 1885 Reformist Baptist or 1907 Reformist Baptist?" "1885 Reformist Baptist." So I shouted "heretic bastard!" and pushed him off. Nice to see they've learnt to laugh at themselves, finally. (Signed) Popular Front of Judea.
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Post by malxscfc on Jan 19, 2007 23:38:36 GMT
8----- Marvellous! I shan't argue about the definition of Tourette's Syndrome I know that the outbursts tend to occur only after crafted clauses of informational broadcast.... w@nker.... but apart from that I do find the syndrome fascinating. I (w@nker) must learn more about it. And maybe even some real facts, even if they are less interesting than the tabloid reality. Am I right in thinking that it's mostly a male condition, such as colour blindness? Is it one of your specialities, Amber? There's a certain visceral energy to the condition - you almost sense they are trying to suppress their sheer power in order to spare us the wrath of human nature. (Probably seems a patronising comment, but is not a million miles away from the truth....)
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Post by ambersalamander on Jan 20, 2007 0:10:03 GMT
Actually, the "outbursts" are extremely rare in Tourette's. Swear words are even rarer. I believe that condition has a different name and is caused by a person being so anxious about saying the worst possible thing that they inadvertantly say it. The "outbursts" in Tourette's are usually caused by either compulsive throat-clearing or similar, or the expulsion of air from the lungs caused by the physical tics that are the most common characteristic.
I've never studied it so I don't know anything else.
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Post by malxscfc on Jan 20, 2007 0:28:50 GMT
Actually, the "outbursts" are extremely rare in Tourette's. Swear words are even rarer. I believe that condition has a different name and is caused by a person being so anxious about saying the worst possible thing that they inadvertantly say it. The "outbursts" in Tourette's are usually caused by either compulsive throat-clearing or similar, or the expulsion of air from the lungs caused by the physical tics that are the most common characteristic. I've never studied it so I don't know anything else. You've certainly hit on answers for 2 of the main symptoms there. But even Pete on Big Brother had this absolute habit of clearly uttering [or as clearly as anyone does on telly these days.... oldie that I am] "w@nker", everytime he cleared his throat. Not coincidence, certainly!
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Post by ambersalamander on Jan 20, 2007 0:33:15 GMT
Hmmm, he is obviously the sort of person who wants to be on telly... I wonder what that says about the "w@nker" thing?
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Post by malxscfc on Jan 20, 2007 0:41:46 GMT
Hmmm, he is obviously the sort of person who wants to be on telly... I wonder what that says about the "w@nker" thing? That says what about the thing I wonder (w@nker)? Is there a such a thing as a sentence anagram?
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Post by ambersalamander on Jan 21, 2007 11:06:19 GMT
Yes.
Everybody's dead, Dave...
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Post by stretfordendling© on Jan 21, 2007 14:03:50 GMT
Everybody's dead, Dave... Wait...are you telling me everybodies dead? ;D
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Post by ambersalamander on Jan 21, 2007 14:35:58 GMT
Yes, Dave. Everybody, Dave, is dead.
Dave, everybody is dead.
Dead, EVERYBODY is, Dave.
Everybody is, Dave, dead.
DEAD, Dave. Everybody IS.
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Post by malxscfc on Jan 25, 2007 10:55:21 GMT
I blame Phil.
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Post by ambersalamander on Jan 26, 2007 13:04:58 GMT
I blame Malx
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Post by malxscfc on Jan 26, 2007 22:55:30 GMT
JOHN lent me his bicycle. [ Phil needed his bicycle] John LENT me his bicycle. [ he didn't give it to me.] John lent ME his bicycle. [ not to Sally] John lent me HIS bicycle. [ not his Dad's bicycle] John lent me his BICYCLE. [ rather than his Vespa Moped with the go-faster stripes] Not funny. But true. English is a rather wonderful play-thing.
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