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Post by ambersalamander on Nov 5, 2008 13:13:27 GMT
I'm on a job hunt at the moment, which can be so very boring that the tedium is relieved by the slightest hint of something amusing. Often, this is in the form of stupid job titles. These days, employers seem to have a preference for calling a spade a manual earth-restructuring implement. Others are just plain odd
I've just come across an excellent one, which falls into the latter category.
Would anyone like to apply for the post of "Chair in Disaster Response and Preparedness," and spend the next few years waiting for people to ask what they do for a living?
Has anyone here got a bizarre or stupid job title?
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votp
Steaming Bovril
Posts: 328
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Post by votp on Nov 5, 2008 14:20:34 GMT
Well "Chair in disaster response" sounds like it should be a newspaper headline. My job title is Resource Manager but it doesn't in any way describe what I do (I is a cytometrist). However we do have a track record of re-naming departments and parts of the organisation just for the hell of it. HR, which used to be Personnel, is now "People and Organisational development" and includes an Inducting subdivision. And don't get me started on our bloody intranet which is the worst pile of poo this side of SM1.
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Post by thevicar on Nov 5, 2008 15:48:24 GMT
Sounds like my old Earth Sciences department. We had a chair in Hazard. The prof in question got most annoyed with the mockery.
I must admit to being in the job market myself at the moment. Sadly technical jobs in IT are still advertised in a way that might just suggest the skills you need (Oracle developer or whatever). I suspect its 'cos geeks and techies have a tendency to being just a little bit literal and would still be arguing about what the precise properties that made a spade a spade were.
For a while the HR department in the current employer's was called People Relationship Management. I suspect the intranet in this craphole would also rival yours votp.
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Post by coops on Nov 5, 2008 15:58:57 GMT
My mate is a Refuse Disposal Technician, or a dustman to you and me.
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Post by DazaB_WCFC on Nov 5, 2008 16:14:05 GMT
I just won a game of poker with a royal flush in manual earth-restructuring implements.
I was on a train last week when the guard refered to himself as a 'revenue protection officer'
Coral spent goodness knows how much money changing my title from "Managing Assistant" to "Assistant Manager" last year. Although "Manager" became "Coral Retail Manager" and "Cahsier" became "Coral Customer Service Assistant"
Tossers.
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Post by coops on Nov 5, 2008 19:41:46 GMT
I think you mean "Manual reproduction gland stimulation technicians".
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Post by ambersalamander on Nov 7, 2008 13:49:30 GMT
I like this thread. It has made me laugh three times now!
My job title (or the title of the job I've just left and am looking for another) is now Assistant Psychologist, but people still argue over whether we should be called "Psychology Assistants" as we are not qualified doctors of clinical psychology and therefore are assistants, not psychologists.
I don't care. I just do my job! (or would if I could bally well get one)
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Post by bh on Nov 7, 2008 19:24:16 GMT
I'm an Integrated Attribution Manager (Don't ask!) or yes you've guessed it IAM for short!! So naturally my colleagues and I are IAMs, but we don't make cat food!
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Post by ambersalamander on Nov 12, 2008 19:02:08 GMT
Just found another good one: "Health Improvement Specialist" which turns out, on closer inspection, to be...a nurse.
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Post by peekay on Nov 13, 2008 16:32:36 GMT
Back in my sixth form days I had a part-time job at the Co-Op and we took to referring to the shopping trolleys as grocery containment units.
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Post by medibot on Nov 13, 2008 17:51:12 GMT
Maccy D's was the place to be things like that from actual company terms like pulling stations and dives (cleaning under grills and washing up to anybody else) to the random ones you invent on yer shift and the delightful maze of meaningless job titles to go through as you scaled the McD's career ladder. Happy days. Buzzwords and company specific terms are good for meeting bingo though
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Post by coops on Nov 13, 2008 19:32:54 GMT
My job title has just been changed from Network Operations Engineer to....
Network Engineer - Operations.
Why?
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Post by Giggy of Telford on Nov 14, 2008 0:20:02 GMT
My job title has just been changed from Network Operations Engineer to.... Network Engineer - Operations. Why? Simple, hyphens are the new colons. Your company wanted to be up to date with the times.
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Post by ambersalamander on Nov 14, 2008 17:56:41 GMT
Call the Punctuation Police! That is a dash, not a hyphen
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Post by robotsmfc on Nov 14, 2008 19:10:01 GMT
More importantly, what is this strange thing that looks like somebody with one eyebrow's eyebrow?
~
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