Tinpot football stories of the week

[ambersalamander]

According to various sources on our forum:

Tinpot story 1: Dorking Wanderers got promoted from div 2 to div 1 of the Sussex County League, but the league then demoted them to div 3. Why, I hear you ask?

You need a stand to achieve the ground grading for div 1. Dorking Wanderers didn’t have a stand. So they borrowed (or nicked ;D) one from another ground, set it up in their own ground, achieved the grading, then returned the stand to its original owners once the inspection had finished.

Genius. Did they really think nobody would notice all season/ever?

They have now apparently applied to join the Combined Counties League instead.


Tinpot story 2: Sutton Utd Reserves completely cocked up a cup semi-final against Chalfont St Peter, losing 3-0 and having THREE players sent off. Incredibly, they will still be playing in the final because Chalfont were later found to have fielded two ineligible players. You have to feel sorry for the rest of the players, really.

[Col ISIHAC.]

Dorks is as does! ;-)
Having experience of footy at this level, it'a not unknown for old bus shelters, sheds, various things (including dissected caravans) to be trollied about and placed on touchlines for cup games and the like. Can't believe that they honestly expected the cunning plan to work though...

They Sutton types is thugs onna pitch. Kick em inna fork I says. I take it the three dismissed will miss the final? Or does that only work in grown-up footy.

[ambersalamander]

I'm not actually sure - and I wasn't there, so don't know what they were sent off for. I do hope they weren't being thugs!

[bh]

As the reserves come under Surrey FA rules they will not miss the final (Not enough time) but will be banned for about six months on next season.

Chalfont didn't realize that substitutes had to be qualified to play, the same as the starting eleven. Tinpot, I should say!