Reality finally catches up with fiction....

[Roscoe, TFFN Reporter (Ret)]

BBC World Service programme The Fifth Floor this week mentioned the story of Bollywood actress Poonam Pandey, who had to do a nude photoshoot after promising to strip if the kolkata knight riders won IPL5.

It reminded me of a happier, more whimsical time when we had a thread called The Totally Ficticious Football League, where "Sutton Sal" constructed a league of teams with made-up names and invited fellow posters to "manage" one, making up stories about their teams. According to legend, scores were decided by Sutton Sal drawing numbered balls from one of her spare bras!

Long before Poonam Pandey's promise, i made my debut as a cub reporter on the Totally Ficticious Football News, breaking the story of Cordelia Shagpyppe-Whiksas, a young female police cadet who boosted one of the struggling teams by removing an article of clothing when her team scored under the headline Undiecover Police Girl To Strip!

Sadly for Cordelia, she was lured away to another team which had, like West Ham and Stoke at that time, been bought up by a consortium from Iceland (the country that is) by the promise of a better job, only to find her naked image being exploited for an Icelandic fish porn site.

Well bugger me if after The Fifth Floor finishes i don't pick up the Sunday Times magazine and find an article about Fishlove, a sort of piscine PETA, showing a picture of journalist Eleanor Mills posing nude with two sustainable Icelandic haddocks!!!

Remember, when news happens, it happens first on Totally Ficticious Football News!

[ambersalamander]

Fantastic! I must get TFFL up and running again one of these days.

[Sultan of Cannock- SRFC]

Did you keep any of the stats from that league or did it just disappear into the ether? I didn't have the presence of mind to save any at the time and "managing" Tosnut United to the one and only TFFL title was the absolute pinnacle of my football "career" I did save a copy of the badge that Sal designed on my old computer somewhere, though!

I remember Roscoe's " Cordelia" character quite well. The team she represented suddenly started getting loads of goals, until they visited Tosnut and my cheerleading team, "The Burkha Birds" kept her clothed and her boys scoreless! ;D

My favourite character was invented by Coops from Tamuff- his team had a finance director named "Nelly Dalziel Le Phant". Inevitably, she soon moved on to pastures new with Coops' club announcing "Nelly Dalziel Le Phant packed her trunk and waved goodbye to desert us." Happy Days.

[Roscoe, TFFN Reporter (Ret)]

Sadly, i doubt it would work again.

Even back then, when we had more regular contributors, some of the clubs quickly became neglected, hence "Roscoe" stepping in to write "newslines" about them.

[ambersalamander]

I actually found a cardboard folder labelled "TFFL" a couple of weeks ago when I was looking for my sunglasses or something. It's got all the stats and numbers in it! Dunno about badges though. I still have my old computer which will have everything saved on it, but it might be dead.