New England manager slams "unrealistic" FA!

[Roscoe, TFFN Reporter (Ret)]

TOTALLY FICTICIOUS FOOTBALL NEWS

Cannock, Saturday


After being appointed new England manager on his Football Manager 2005 game, an un-named Tinpotter used his first press conference to slam the "unrealistic so-called 'real' FA".

"Following the sacking of Sven-Goran Eriksson after England's dismal showing in the Confederations Cup, the FM2005 FA made the bold and realistic decision to appoint me. During three seasons in the game, I have a proud record that speaks for itself."

Indeed, the 47 yr-old self-confessed Buddhist has swept all before him, guiding Stafford Rangers to the Conference North, Conf National AND League 2 titles in consecutive years, unbeaten in league play and collecting 2 FA Trophies and 1 LDV Vans Trophy on the way. This year Stafford also reached the League Cup semi, succumbing over two-legs to eventual winners Everton, but not before the 'Toffees' had tasted defeat at Marston Road along with Liverpool and Portsmouth.

The manager went on to brand the "so-called real FA" as being "totally off the planet." "They can't even run tournements where the teams that finish in relegation places actually go down! Their craziest ruling so far has been not only to award the England Manager's job to Steve McClaren but then to actually let him keep it! If the FM2005 programme had come up with this, it would have been laughed off the shelves and rightly so!" thundered England's new supremo, who will be fitting his England duties in alongside his quest to take Stafford Rangers into the Championship

[ambersalamander]

Yes dear, I'm sure you will. could you put the kettle on please?

[Col ISIHAC.]

AMBER!

He doesn't need tea and sympathy

Roscoe - your credentials are, as some of us understand, totally impeccable - it's just your grasp upon reality that alarms me! I mean - in this FM2005 world of yours, it appears that this "Real FA"appointed Steve McLaren England manager...I mean - if you are going to rib us with such wit, then please go for something at least on the frill on the edge of the counterpane of reality.

































Bugger.

[Roscoe, TFFN Reporter (Ret)]

Sir, i believe that you are overestimating me! ;D

It was an attempt at kicking the blessed McClaren in a different, slightly out-of-left-field sort of way.

When you play these sort of FM games, no matter how much you suspend your disbelief the computer generates what i call "Flob" moments (ie something will come up which makes me exclaim out loud "Fcuking Load of B******s!) such as when cyber-Man U sacked Fergie and replaced him with Alan Curbishley.

Watching the England game last week and thinking how McClaren got the job in the first place reminds me that real life often has greater "Flob" moments than anything artificial!

[bonehead]

I'm useless at FM2005, which is par for the course in my life. Offhand I can't think of anything I am good at. I gave up with managing a certain team in the E Midlands because I started with no goalie and no other decent goalies would come to me via loan or dodgy brown envelopes. A bit like the real thing, I suppose :-)

On the other hand I am also in charge at Bury (um ... I'm running 22 teams at the mo), had no money for transfers, doing ok in the league - and a new board took over the club, gave me £2.5m for transfers and bought a new training facility (probably a Subbuteo game) - very unlike the real thing! I sense Bury will be looking for a new manager. Now where's my vote of confidence?

[ojiveojive]

When I was knee high, flob was a particularly thick, green type of expectorant gathered from the throat and nasal tubes and gobbed at someone.

During the mid 1970s it became a manner of expressing one's endearment to one's favourite musical combos.

Ho hum.