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Post by malxscfc on Oct 8, 2007 9:19:12 GMT
Malx, I'd rather have fitness girl than african chant bloke Give him a taste of his own medecine - employ the best Witchdoctor inside the M25 to enact some heap-powerful joojoo spell on him. Turn him into a green parrot, perhaps? [Or am I making manic assumptions about his belief-system... ] The only flaw in your plan is that Loud Girlfriend doesn't, as far as I gather, actually live here, so she can't kick out Loud Girlfriend Bloke. However, there is a chance that she'd dump him and the next girlfriend he gets is quieter. Once you've stitched up LGB, set him up with someone who is either: a) mute or b) S&M passive, and who won't even remove her bra until she's heavily gagged in leather. Better give them some dubbin for Christmas, to lessen the creaking of the cowhide - and plastic chains to minimise the clanking.
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Post by ojiveojive on Oct 8, 2007 10:27:10 GMT
Crack under the door and that That's the spirit, then dob them all in ;D ;D ;D
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Post by ambersalamander on Oct 8, 2007 17:14:36 GMT
Hahaha! That's a good idea! Wish I'd thought of it
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Post by malxscfc on Oct 15, 2007 17:52:03 GMT
A few years ago BMW experimented with a computer device which nullified noise. It was planned to kill all interior engine noise in their cars. It works on the simple principle that all sound waves have an opposite frequency, so this machine would emit sound at precisely the opposing frequency to the sounds coming from the fuel-injected madhouse under the bonnet. They scrapped it eventually. It was too effective, as it killed all attempts at conversation within the cabin as well....* Maybe this device is what you need at your place? * Secretly, millions of hen-pecked husbands have privately invested in these gadgets ever since...
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Post by ambersalamander on Oct 15, 2007 18:58:48 GMT
Sounds rather expensive to me!
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Post by malxscfc on Oct 15, 2007 20:17:15 GMT
Sounds rather expensive to me! You don't have to buy the whole car!
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Post by malxscfc on Oct 16, 2007 9:16:56 GMT
Sounds rather expensive to me! Just found an article from 2002. Obviously it's not commonplace on the market yet, so he's vaguely priced the prototype at approx. £1000. www.newscientist.com/article/dn2094.html [Love the common sense quote right at the bottom! ] But I have no doubt they'll be fairly common and cheap eventually.
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Post by ambersalamander on Oct 17, 2007 17:29:25 GMT
That is incredibly expensive to a poor girl like me
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Post by malxscfc on Oct 17, 2007 19:18:38 GMT
That is incredibly expensive to a poor girl like me Unfortunately the marketplace doesn't appear to demand it, YET, as I can't find anywhere on Google that would sell you one anyway.... Oh well, it's a happy thought. 50p earplugs in the interim.
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Post by ambersalamander on Oct 17, 2007 19:35:51 GMT
Gym Freak is at it again right now!
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Post by malxscfc on Oct 17, 2007 19:47:20 GMT
Gym Freak is at it again right now! Play some really loud music which is totally a-rhythmic to what she's doing. When she changes exercise, change your music. And the rhythm. Maybe pick up a cheap exercise tape and pretend to compete by playing it louder, and shrieking, "Ooh, Ah" at suitable punctuations in the 'burn'...
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Post by ambersalamander on Oct 17, 2007 19:52:44 GMT
That's a lovely idea.
I'm too tired though.
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Post by ojiveojive on Oct 17, 2007 21:53:48 GMT
You could get a tape loop of Jimi Hendrix playing The Star Spangled Banner and play that at ear bleeding volume whilst you go to the pub.
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Post by ambersalamander on Oct 18, 2007 17:42:27 GMT
She's bought a new exercise bike!!! I saw the enormous cardboard box outside the front door this morning. I had wondered why she stopped for ages and has now started again. She must have overused the bloody thing so much that it broke. Still, I'm quite pleased with myself for being able to identify the noise as an exercise machine
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Post by malxscfc on Oct 18, 2007 18:13:35 GMT
She's bought a new exercise bike!!! Make a bow & arrow, climb up into a handy tall tree, and fire a stick through the window into her spokes....?
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