Wackiest Away-Day?

[malxscfc]

As you will know by now, Away-Days are always more memorable than home fixtures. And usually for the odd quirky reason which is beyond anyone's control.
...................................

3 Years ago, I'd just moved back to Salisbury after decades of absence, and a friend usually picked me up for Away matches. On this occasion he was unavailable, and at that time I didn't know any of our regular nutters.

On the last minute, bored with lopping the lawn, worrying the weeds and frotting moist sponges all over the car, I decided (on a whim) to drive the 2 hours to Burgess Hill, alone, to watch our away game. [Burgess Hill is just north of Brighton, and a fair drive along the South Coast road, AKA the A27].

In spite of the wintry gale force winds that weekend, I pulled up in the car park with 2 or 3 minutes to spare, and rushed into the Clubhouse hoping they'd tell me exactly where the 'proper' pitch was where all the crowds should be, since I couldn't see any sign of a game so far.

The good Burghers of Burgess Hill are a polite bunch.
No one laughed.
They genuinely pretended to be sympathetic.
One kind bloke even made motions to buy me a pint in sheer pity....

The game had been called off, of course. And that's when I vowed to pay more attention to the web in future.
They were good people. I had a swift half, and bought the kind-bloke a pint, and, tail tucked firmly between the legs, I ran out to the Car Park before the sounds of laughter reached me......

So. I'm in East Sussex, I think. I remember from a former life that there are loads of really attractive little towns in East Sussex and Kent; most of which end in ----field; so I decide to make the most of my misfortune. The plan is a little sightseeing excursion up northwards to the A272, then a return Westwards on said road, which is a cheery meander of a trip, back towards Salisbury.

Happy motoring ensues, with pleasant vistas, picturesque villages, charming rural architectural gems, and plenty of examples of good practice in the Forestry sphere...

Until the car dies near Uckfield.

It's dusk before the AA turn up and say they can't repair it. It takes 3 hours before a tow is arranged back home, for the cost of £265.
I get home at nearly 11pm. I've seen no game. I've spent a tenner on fuel, and a bundle on towage.
Next day I have a 12 mile cycle ride to Halfords only to find that they didn't have the 'coil' thing I needed.
On Monday I cycled the 8 miles to work, then later got a lift to collect the £73 electrical part from the Auto Factors....


And by Tuesday I was convinced that, if possible, I'd try never to miss another Salisbury game for the rest of my life! ;D

Anyone had a wackier or worse day away?

[ambersalamander]

Oh yes oh yes! but i am drunked an i tell you tomorrow.

IF i get time

[Col ISIHAC.]

That'll be worth tuning on for, folks!

With more than 100 grounds under her belt, our Amber is bound to have a tale to tell...

I, meantime, will check with Memory Central and get back to you also

[boyblue]

One away day sticks in my memory for it's surreal ending.

Mrs Boy blue (an avid City follower) the two junior blues and me went to a pre season friendly last year to malvern town.

The youngest blue fruit of my loin was 6yrs old and about to lose his first milk tooth.
We had reassured him for weeks that this loose tooth would come out and he could put it under his pillow and recieve a gift from the tooth fairy.
Unfortunately his tooth came out as he ran around the Malvern ground
This caused much upset as had had the same money spending gene as his mother and the thought of no £1 coin bought on fits of tears.
So on a hot Summer day a line of City supporters club members searched (in a forensic style line) a football ground for a milk tooth.
It was never found and cost me £5 in consolation bribes

[Col ISIHAC.]

boyblue said:

One away day sticks in my memory for it's surreal ending.

Mrs Boy blue (an avid City follower) the two junior blues and me went to a pre season friendly last year to malvern town.

The youngest blue fruit of my loin was 6yrs old and about to lose his first milk tooth.
We had reassured him for weeks that this loose tooth would come out and he could put it under his pillow and recieve a gift from the tooth fairy.
Unfortunately his tooth came out as he ran around the Malvern ground
This caused much upset as had had the same money spending gene as his mother and the thought of no £1 coin bought on fits of tears.
So on a hot Summer day a line of City supporters club members searched (in a forensic style line) a football ground for a milk tooth.
It was never found and cost me £5 in consolation bribes

Aaah!

that's all. A tale to tug the heartstrings. And wallet... ;D

[davetscfc]

I've told Malx loads of tales of mad awaydays which has probably inspired his thread. Buggered if I can think of any now though. Memory's a dodgy thing. Away for a few days now, will have to see what i come up with.

[malxscfc]

boyblue said:

One away day sticks in my memory for it's surreal ending.

Mrs Boy blue (an avid City follower) the two junior blues and me went to a pre season friendly last year to malvern town.

The youngest blue fruit of my loin was 6yrs old and about to lose his first milk tooth.
We had reassured him for weeks that this loose tooth would come out and he could put it under his pillow and recieve a gift from the tooth fairy.
Unfortunately his tooth came out as he ran around the Malvern ground
This caused much upset as had had the same money spending gene as his mother and the thought of no £1 coin bought on fits of tears.
So on a hot Summer day a line of City supporters club members searched (in a forensic style line) a football ground for a milk tooth.
It was never found and cost me £5 in consolation bribes

Good God man!

I can't believe the Social Services aren't sitting you down, even now, in a bland Reception Area, making you fill out inane forms, before taking you into an Interview Room and subjecting you to the inevitable semi-public deconstruction of your psyche!

Why on earth didn't you borrow a bit of someone's chewing gum, mould it into a dental-esque shape, blob a smidgeon of Tomato Ketchup on the top, prime your best friend to shout "Eureka!", and get everyone to chime in about what a great tooth it used to be!!

Would have saved you about £4, anyway....

Handy tip for any similar situations involving future loin fruit, perhaps?

[malxscfc]

ambersalamander said:

Oh yes oh yes! but i am drunked an i tell you tomorrow.

IF i get time

We're still waiting with baited breath, Babes .

Or at least with chewing gum to disguise the 'baited' element of the implied halitosis.

Or maybe the gum is just kept handy for cases of tooth-simulation when children require the Tooth Fairies to be presented with some physical receipt......

[bonehead]

Does the tooth fairy pay taxes? Sorry, I'm an accountant

[bonehead]

I can't think of any 'whacky' away games I've been to. I recall landing in Adelaide and immediately being whisked off to an under 8s game followed by a bbq that featured marinaded kangaroo steaks (yummy). I rememeber using my satnav to go to Hyde last year that took me to the totally wrong area of town, asking lots of pedestrians the way to the ground and just getting blank looks (I was lucky there - they stuffed us 3-0 and we were lucky to get 0).

I wasn't at this one (too busy defending queen and country at the time) but some years ago, a certain team in the E Midlands was drawn to play Tilbury away in either the Trophy or tinpot FA Cup. So many fans wanted to go (ah, the good old days) that a train was hired for them. Sod's law being sod's law, the train got stopped somewhere en route. Sod's law being sod's law, another train crashed into the back of it! Cue the slow crawl into the next available station (I think it was Bedford) and millions and millions (okay a few hundred) fans being deposited somewhere between a rock and a hard place. None of them got to the game. Train after train came into Bedford station and, each time, the station announcer said, "jm maljhjae3t a hjahenhtj" - roughly translated as, "This train will not be stopping at a town that is home to a certain team in the E Midlands". Now, you can take so much of this until you break. Yet another train pulled into Bedford with the customary "akl;hahsd .aaiohoeiools" message, but the fans got on anyway. When the guard trolled through the train checking tickets, he was a tad surprised at the number of a certain team in the E Midlands fans that were on a train going to a town with no scheduled stop. Needless to say he felt it would be advisable to stop at that town anyway. Poppy power! <S>

[samd]

Just over a year ago we had a friendly at Darlington R.A. during pre-seaosn with a 7.30pm kick off on a Tuesday night. Being only about 50 miles down the motorway I set off at half five thinking it would leave plenty of time. That was before I got to the tyne tunnel which is basically a two lane throat carrying the traffic from about every major road in North Tyneside under the river tyne.

Well it gets to about 7pm and I've only just gotten out of the tunnel and still have most of the journey to go. My mate says we'll never make kick off on time, but determined not to miss kick off I got onto the A1(M) and slammed the accelerator to the floor (bear in mind this is a 1.2 corsa!).

Speeding through County Durham at over 100mph I eventually made it to their ground at 7.25pm!

Alas the match was a bit shite as we drew 0-0.

Oh and last season we had a fancy dress away day at Marine where we had people dressed up as an aussie, a leprachaun, the pope, a fairy and a ghostbuster amongst others.

At Redditch we had a bad shirt day where people had to come dressed in their worst shirts. I just looked too dman good though as ever ;D

[malxscfc]

samd said:

Just over a year ago we had a friendly at Darlington R.A. during pre-seaosn with a 7.30pm kick off on a Tuesday night. Being only about 50 miles down the motorway I set off at half five thinking it would leave plenty of time. That was before I got to the tyne tunnel which is basically a two lane throat carrying the traffic from about every major road in North Tyneside under the river tyne.

Well it gets to about 7pm and I've only just gotten out of the tunnel and still have most of the journey to go. My mate says we'll never make kick off on time, but determined not to miss kick off I got onto the A1(M) and slammed the accelerator to the floor (bear in mind this is a 1.2 corsa!).

Speeding through County Durham at over 100mph I eventually made it to their ground at 7.25pm!

Alas the match was a bit shite as we drew 0-0.

Oh and last season we had a fancy dress away day at Marine where we had people dressed up as an aussie, a leprachaun, the pope, a fairy and a ghostbuster amongst others.

At Redditch we had a bad shirt day where people had to come dressed in their worst shirts. I just looked too dman good though as ever ;D

I sympathise in many ways, friend. I got a 1.3 Polo up to 115 somewhere on an Essex Dual Carriageway after coming off the M25 severely late and frustrated. Reached Braintree at Half Time, to much derision from my "friends"...

We TRIED to do a fancy dress awayday last season, and given that we'd won our League you'd think a bit of a party would be in order.
It was at Team Bath (who share Twerton), so we thought Togas were the ticket in a Roman City. But that idea went by the wayside. Elvises couldn't be bothered to dig out their blue suede shoes. So then it was to be Hawaiian (loud shirts/shorts) but that idea failed too. The final offer was for everyone to go in shorts.


We had about 150-200 make the trip that day.

Not a pair of shorts to be seen........ [Just as well, given some of our legs. And I don't mean "collective" legs. Salisbury fans are not actually centipedes in disguise. Really. ]